You could however bring it up over tea..at a later date of course.

Don't make the mistake of thinking the person you are arguing with wants to hear how they themselves do the very thing they are accusing you of doing. Nothing could be farther from the truth.

What they want is for you to accept responsibility for your grievous actions so we can put this whole ugly business behind us. Anything less is going to drag everyone down a long sulky road of irritation and possibly name calling.

Some things are not meant to be skimped on

Don't buy the Costco brand toilet paper. Especially not if you are a toilet paper snob like me. It's not worth the few pennys you save. Charmin Ultra is the only way to go.

Sorry Costco, you know I love you, and your brand is usually top notch. This item, not so much.

They don't expire on the 14th

Don’t eat the whole box of Little Debbie Valentine cakes. Sure, at first it might seem like a good idea, you’re home alone, they’re cute, you might even justify it by skipping lunch. Ten minutes later when all that’s left are an empty box, that waxy frosting residue in your mouth and guilt, you’re gonna wish you’d taken my advice.

Another lesson learned the hard way

Don't assume your shoes are safe on your very own front porch. Although it may seem to make sense that because they are on your very own stoop which is part of your very own home you wouldn't have to worry, I'm sorry to inform you that there is no way to insure a roving pack of chihuahuas won't come along and chew up your favorite pair of Reef flip flops.

The lesser of two evils

Don't eat the last Boston Cream doughnut.  Just throw it away.  I know you don't want to waste it, wasting feels wrong, but trust me, the way you're going to feel after you eat that last doughnut right before bed is way worse than the "Oh my gosh I just wasted a doughnut!" feeling.

Meow

Don’t leave empty flowerbeds in your yard, unless, of course, you don’t mind having a giant litter box just outside your front door. Take it from me….and my smelly yard.

Take a deep breath

Don't tell your wife, "neither one of us looks like we did when we were younger". When she asks if you think this skirt makes her butt look big, either lie or be silent. It's the only way for there to be peace in the kingdom. Trust me, your wife knows she doesn't look like she did on your wedding day, what she's looking for is conformation that you haven't noticed because you love her no matter what.